"don't get tangled in your past"

     In 4 days, another year of my life will have gone by. This year, I’ll be 22 years old. While most people would consider this as a young age and the “best years” of my life, I feel quite differently. For me, the early twenties have been a journey of self reflection and evaluation. 

     When we are children, the world is this great big place where nothing bad can happen to any of us. We’re tucked in at night after our simple prayers and know that when we wake up, the world will be just as we left it. We get older and more excited through our teenage years as restrictions are removed and opportunities arise, sadness coming only from missed opportunities and the loss of childhood pets. Then it’s time for college. Before you know it, you are living in a different city on your own, assembling a nest of your own with packs of ramen, notebook paper, and three hundred dollar textbooks. But then you reach a point in your life after your twenty-first birthday where you realize that all the restrictions are removed and you are a fully functioning adult about to be pushed out into the big wonderful world you learned about as a child... 

     Except this time it’s different. The world as you saw it isn’t as bright and wonderful as it was. This time the world is a big and scary place where there are responsibilities and every choice you make will potentially affect the rest of your life. I’ve reached this point in my life. I look around and realize how much time has passed and how in just 1 year from now, I will be preparing for graduation. Suddenly everything feels much older: younger siblings beginning high school, older siblings managing their careers.... so on and so on. 

     I’ve been slapped in the face with mortality, and it hurts when it finally happens. Now I understand that everyone won’t undergo this sort of realization, but since I’m a poetic type of person, these types of things are on my mind on a more abnormal basis. The medical school application process also doesn’t really help due to the added stress and the feeling that your entire future is hanging over the edge of a cliff with the tiniest piece of thread. But lets breathe for a minute and think positive thoughts. 

     Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, I am thinking positive thoughts... well, I’m trying at least. In 22 years of living, I’ve learned many valuable lessons, the most important of which is that life goes on. We have no control over the passage and the amount of time we have, but we have control of how we spend it and how we live it. All I can do at this moment is to continue my journey as far as I can, making the best of every moment and everything that is given to me.